Since I’m feeling out of this world depressed and sad lately, I decided to send myself to “another world” and work on another Alice in Wonderland picture. Alice was taken from her secure world and thrown into this magical world that is foreign, somewhat scary and alien to her. It reflects my feelings for the last week.
On the 30th of September, we took our cat, Robin, to Vet 1 to find out why she was drooling and listless. At first, we were just given the diagnosis of Advanced Chronic Kidney disease and we were sent home with prescription food and nothing else. Her numbers were so high and off the charts that she was literally wasting away before our eyes. We decided four days later to take her back to the vet when we saw no improvement. She wasn’t eating and only drinking water. We saw a different vet that day, Vet 2, who asked us immediately why she hadn’t been given IV Fluids and medicines to flush the toxins from her body. We didn’t know the answer as Vet 1 hadn’t talked to us about treatments available. It was a relief in a way when Vet 2 said they needed to keep her to treat her condition in an effort to turn around the path that Vet 1 had sent her down… Not many people know that this is one of the most common diseases a senior cat can be diagnosed with and that it, while not curable, is treatable. There are many things we can do to improve her quality of living and she can live another five to six years, healthy and happy. It is like diabetes in a human. You can live with it, even though it is not curable and, no, it is not painful or cruel, except for when you are having a flare up.
I miss my babygirl. She’s away from us for the first time in years…her whole life she has been around one of us in the family. I can’t imagine what is going through her head right now. She’s so lovable and has this personality that just makes you smile. All of our animals are family and are missing her too. She should be stable and ready to return home on Monday. We hope. As of the last call to check in on her, she was up and moving around. She had peed in her litter box. (That might not sound like a big deal but it is. It means the toxins built up in her body are being expelled through her waste, finally)… and although she hasn’t eaten anything yet, we were told her eyes are clearer and bright, she’s alert and interacting well with the staff. Which brings me to something that really bugs me and hurts a lot: Judgements.
I turned to a friend to talk about how I was hurting and feeling and how scared I was for our family pet, only to be met with judgements. For that person, who I had confided to in the past, to return with judgements over me and every decision I had made or not made to her liking, hurt a lot. It was hard to hit that unfriend button but I did. I don’t need to be judged right now. I need to have friends and family who love and support me, not people who will rub my nose in my past mistakes or in decisions and situations that are out of my control. I defriended her because this is not the first time that she has judged me for a decision that I had made and had made an unkind, hurtful remark or judged me lacking in her eyes. It must be nice to be so “perfect” that you can pass judgement on other people like this.
In case people have been talked to, there are a few things to clear up:
1. We don’t use charity to mow our lawn. That’s fucking stupid and categorically untrue.
2. I don’t have money because I don’t ask my parents for it. Everything I have, I bought and earned. Hence, why it’s falling apart now.
3. I have a job. I am a freelancing Graphic Designer in RL and in SL I have begun picking up some good paying projects. It doesn’t convert to much in the RL dollar, but it is something, just not enough to cover Robin’s medical care or allow me to live in my own apartment. This is not a bad thing and I am not the first person to have to move in with family over the years.
4. Some of what was said was true. Some of what was said was not. A Lot of it was drama. She took my words, my confidences and used them against me. This shows me what kind of person she is and why I shouldn’t have her in my life at this time. She tried to make me feel ashamed of myself for actions that I really have nothing to be ashamed of. Her words to me were cruel. Judgmental. Obnoxiously blunt. She treated me like I was a piece of dirt under her shoe because I said we were getting my cat treated and not putting her to sleep. Because in the few lines of text I did tell her, she immediately judged that Robin was in pain and suffering. I said, “We’re not sure.” And no, we aren’t sure. Neither is Vet 2. Senior cats are masters at disguising their physical ailments. Hell, we didn’t know she was sick until a few days before we took her to the vet. Up until that point, she was running around chasing the other cats, eating and drinking and cuddling with me or my dad at night.
I should never have to defend myself to anyone for my thoughts, feelings, actions and decisions or that of my family’s. Yeah, we have our problems. Yes, I have issues at home, both medically and personally. But, no one has the right to try to make me feel ashamed of my life and of my family. I confide in someone, it should remain that, a confidence. It should never be used against me or anyone else. The reason I am posting this in my blog is so others can learn a lesson from this situation and think about things before they speak. You never know what someone is going through. You don’t know what or how they came to their decisions. And you don’t have the right to tell them what to do. You don’t have the right to give unsolicited advice. That is neither needed nor wanted by the person confiding in you. So, next time someone comes to you to talk about something they are going through, think about that and know, they don’t care about your opinion or advice at that point. They are just seeking an ear to listen and a supportive friend. And if you cannot be that support for them, then walk away and don’t say anything because your words and actions hurt more than the actual event itself.
One final thing: On the advice of a friend, we have created a Gofundme page for friends and followers who would like to help. The link is: Help Robin with CKD Treatment. Any and all donations are greatly appreciated and help us offset the cost of this unexpected medical expense for our kitty.
Those are my thoughts for this post.
For my outfit, I chose to wear the September Monthly Midnight Madness gift from Salt & Pepper, Drindl, in pink which I paired with Mary Jane heels and stockings from Pink Pearl Designs. Add the braids from Truth Hair and rings from Elise, you have a wonderful ensemble for an Alice in Wonderland trip down the rabbit hole. My makeup is from the talented Alaskametro gacha, Color Trends, and my skin comes from Amara Beauty, Sophia for Lelutka heads. I fell in love with this skin as soon as I saw it. The best part is her body applier has so many options.
Mesh Head: LeLutka Head Simone 3.0
Mesh Body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
Mesh Eyes: IKON Charm Eyes – Denim
Mesh Hair: TRUTH HAIR Satyra [w/Bangs]
Shape: [ west end ] Sue Shape (Lelutka Simone Bento Head)
Skin: amara beauty – Sophia 05 LELUTKA Applier
Makeup (eyeshadow): alaskametro “Color Trends” eyeshadow – Warm Tones
Makeup (lipstick): alaskametro “Color Trends” lipstick – Peach
Tattoo: TAOX – TaTToo & Appliers – Attraction Of The Hibiscus
Necklace: **RealEvil Industries** LUX Ti Amo Necklace RLV v3.1
Rings: *elise* – Lucrezia BENTO Rings (Wear)
Dress: Salt & Pepper Dirndl MMM edition
Shoes: [Pink Pearl Designs] Too Irresistible Socks & Heels – Plains
Location: Image Essentials, Alice in Wonderland set